Tracy knew that he was NOT responsible for his father’s drinking or his mother’s moods. He would sometimes have thoughts that maybe he did something that made his mom upset or led his dad to drink more, but he knew this wasn't the case.
At first he thought his crush didn't want to see him. Then when he thought some more, he wondered if maybe his crush was also under some pressure and just did not have time to talk to him. He was open to the idea that whatever was going on with his crush might not be about him.
Tracy has learned from his family therapist and school counselor that he is not to blame for his parent's mental illnesses. Still, he has to fight off thoughts that he did something wrong. He has learned to control bad thoughts and replace them with good ones. Tracy has learned that good thoughts lead to good feelings which lead to good actions!
Below are some examples of bad thoughts that Tracy identified and replaced with good thoughts so he would feel better. Think about each thought and what actions will come after Tracy thinks the good thought and which actions will come after the bad thought.
|I caused my mom's bad mood.
|Depression is no one's fault and I support my mom when she is having a hard day.
|My crush doesn't want to talk to me.
|My crush might be feeling nervous to say hi like I am. I should go say hi to her and see how she is.
|My dad drinks because our family stresses him out.
|Alcoholism is a disease. Dad needs help to beat his addiction just like I needed to see a doctor when I had the flu.
|I'm too dumb to do good in my math class.
|Algebra is super hard. To do well, I will have to study way more than I ever have before, but I can do it.
|People think my family is weird.
|Everyone's family is different and we are all a little weird. Once people get to know us, they think we are awesome.